Mary Angel

(1/2025) A long time ago I brought a sweet, little angel home from the hospital. She smelled of sugar and spice and everything nice. Her skin was as soft as silk, and she brought such joy to our family. I am sure you all have a similar story about the joyous day your child was born. That is actually not what this story is about. This is a much scarier story than that.

A few years passed and she turned into a toddler who had a little bit of an anger issue. She was the baby after all, and her siblings did everything for her. Every so often she would get tired of not being able to walk on her own, or speak for herself, or make her own decisions, and that is when it would go wrong rather quickly. She would hit someone or even bite them, all the while turning beet red. No exaggeration, a couple times I thought there was steam coming out of her ears. Unfortunately, while I am trying to discipline her, her siblings would be laughing hysterically. Needless to say, this didn’t help at all.

She outgrew her biting and most of her temper issues as she entered her late elementary school days. Every once in a while, she would lose her temper over something more emotional or when she was being misunderstood. Overall, she was the child who gave me the least trouble. She chose friends who were a positive influence, she made good decisions and was a pretty helpful little girl. When it came to school, she got good grades, was eager to learn, and didn’t hide her schoolwork like one of the other kids did on an almost daily basis. It was a wonderful time to be a mom!

When we got to middle school, I noticed that she started to get a little sassy. Nothing remarkable, but those moments where I might ask her to clean her room, and she would let out a big sigh and mope off to her room. Or, if I asked that the kids pitch in and empty the dishwasher she might huff and exclaim, "Do I have too?". It was your basic early teen whining and complaining. I had seen something similar from each of them at that same age. This was totally workable, after all I had been through this three times before and survived. There was something a little different this time. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was just different.

When she entered high school, she was a very nervous freshman. She had been homeschooled almost her entire life and she was extremely insecure about whether she would fit in, make friends, or be able to cut the mustard academically. She did great in all three areas, even if she didn’t always see it that way. She had straight A’s almost every semester since she started in public school and quickly figured out, she didn’t care as much about fitting in if it meant being someone she wasn’t (music to my ears). She met her best friend in her freshman year, but they were both so introverted that they didn’t speak to one another until their sophomore year. Her honey badger (as her siblings call her) side of her was all but non-existent.

As sophomore year ended, and junior year began the honey badger returned. Not in the same form but in a young adult form. I remember that day like it was yesterday. She was being, what I would call, curt. She was just short with everyone. I mentioned to her, in a kind way, that her attitude was a bit nasty. Out of no where I was told, "What the hell, mom! I am not in the mood for them!" I was left speechless for a solid minute. I could not believe what had just happened. I am pretty sure her entire, sweet, young life flashed before my eyes, as I could not believe that my little baby angel had spoken to me like that. As I came out of my fog and looked her in the eyes, I realized she couldn’t believe what had come out of her mouth either.

I told her we needed to discuss what had just happened. With that she burst into tears and ran to her room. When I got to her room she immediately apologized and said she had no idea where that had come from, followed by some suggested punishments.

Needless to say, this was not the last time she slipped up and spoke to me like I was someone she went to school with. This always led to the "why would you speak to anyone like that" conversation. Unbeknownst to her I started tracking these outbursts because I was sure there was a pattern to them when they were at their worst. What I discovered was exactly that, a pattern of a sort. Whenever she was at her most stressed, she would lash out much more than when things were going smoothly with no stressors. So, I knew when it was time for finals or a class she struggled with more than others she would have an episode and end up in trouble. It is also how we discovered she was being bullied. Oddly enough, if she wasn’t verbally lashing out, we wouldn’t have investigated the root cause and discovered that she was being bullied by a group of girls at the high school. This was when we realized what an amazing best friend she had made, since she had no problem standing up for our daughter, even though she was one of the biggest introverts I have ever met.

There have been many more sassy teenage outbursts since that first one, but we have all survived. I think it is always shocking when we have these sweet little darlings and one day they turn into sassy little hormonal monsters. As a mom, you do not want to ever think your child will be sassy or nasty, but when they come as a package deal and directed at you, it is even harder to take. Inevitably, all children will behave in a way that we, as parents, are hard pressed to believe, but they are still human. In addition, they are navigating those crazy emotions and hormones, and in a time when social media is bombarding them with all kinds of unsettling ideas. Personally, I am not sure I would have navigated my teenage years as well as my kids have if I had been raised in this wacky social media age. In conclusion…I am still in shock that my baby spoke to me like that. LOL!

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