Read Part 3

(3/8) We are continuing our message series "Modern Romance," and I am excited to share principles from God’s word that will help you improve your relationships and experience God’s best in life. This is important because what we have seen, experienced, and been taught by our culture is not working, and so if we want what is best, we must turn to the Word of God. When Jesus came into the world, he said,

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).

And so, in Christ, in the Scriptures, we have Revelation of wisdom and instruction for every aspect of life. It teaches us how to live in harmony with each other, make wise decisions, and grow spiritually.

Now, here’s the thing: our Creator, the Lord Jesus Christ, has a plan and a purpose for each of our lives. In other words, he has things that he wants that he has prepared for each of us, and yet each one of us has our own list of things that we want, hoping that God will bless it. And many times, we find ourselves getting frustrated and discouraged because God hasn’t blessed the path that we have chosen. And so, as we turn to the Word of God, here’s God’s truth for us today, the Bible tells us in Proverbs chapter 19,

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21, NIV).

As we grow on our spiritual journey together, maturing in the faith, we must learn to trust God through trials and trusting God with the way things happen in our lives.

In other words, whatever that looks like in your life, for your relationships, for your family, and for your business may be completely different from what you thought was going to happen, but you need to remember that the journey doesn’t always look like the destination. You see, only God can see the end from the beginning. Only God can take broken things and create a masterpiece. And so you may be in a relationship that is struggling, and God can turn it around. You may be single and looking for a relationship, and if you trust God with the timing, you can end up in a relationship full of life and joy.

The issue is that many of us have exchanged God’s principles for fleeting pleasures. In today's culture, there are numerous voices and a broad spectrum of thoughts on relationships. Modern Romance suggests that you should quit when things get tough and leave when you don’t feel it anymore. However, I assure you that no matter who you are, if you are in a relationship, you will eventually face serious challenges that test the strength of that relationship.

Here’s what you need to know, the Bible says,

"Love is patient… It is not rude, it is not self-seeking… but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV).

Modern Romance often views love as a blend of emotional connection and personal discovery or fulfillment. And yet, the biblical view is far deeper, depicting love as patient, kind, and self-sacrificing, always seeking the best for others and remaining steadfast in the face of challenges.

In other words, true love kicks in where feelings leave off. And so, when you are not feeling it anymore that is when genuine love starts to kick in. This kind of love, agape love, doesn’t come first but it follows after you have committed and made sacrifices for the sake of another.

Just think about it for a moment, how much did you love God before you made a commitment to him? That love blossomed after you made that commitment to love him with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength. After you surrendered to Jesus, that’s when the real love comes in. In fact, the Bible explains it this way,

"We love because God first loved us" (1 John 4:19, NIV).

And so, our ability to love is rooted in God’s love for us, which is why when you find yourself frustrated, when you don’t see how it’s going to work, when reconciliation seems doubtful, we need to pause and invite God into that situation.

Therefore, I want to encourage you not to overthink it, worrying about what you need to do, or how you thought things would happen, but instead put your trust in God. I know this is going to look different for each one of us, because we are all in different seasons, whether single, divorced, or widowed, but I want to give you some principles to help you live your life positively, with the right focus, and building strong relationships.

We’ve got to turn to the Lord, seeking the wisdom of the Scriptures and the power of the Holy Spirit because everyone will experience trouble, defeat, and discouragement at some time in their lives. But even at rock bottom, in the deepest darkest valley, at the lowest point of your life, the Bible tells us:

"The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one" (2 Thessalonians 3:3, NIV).

And so, for those of you who feel like you’re all alone, walking through a dark place, and maybe you’ve been struggling in a relationship for years. Can I encourage you to keep persevering even when you’re tempted to quit?

Make a conscious decision to love, love like Jesus loved you, because the Bible says love:

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:7-8, NIV).

So, here is the thing: The relationship you want or desire will require effort and perseverance so that you are able to tackle the unexpected challenges that will certainly come your way. In other words, you are going to have to put in some work that you didn’t anticipate. This might mean dealing with emotional ups and downs, personal growth, and moments that test your commitment, but the Bible gives us reassurance.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (Psalms 23:4, NIV).

I want you to notice the keyword here, "Even though I walk," and what is the next word? Everybody say it, "Through."

In other words, we don’t stop or sit down in the valley, we don’t have a pity party, but we walk through it. We trust that God is with us every step of the way, providing the comfort and guidance that we need, because the Holy Spirit said,

"The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one" (2 Thessalonians 3:3, NIV).

And so, even though you may find yourself walking through the darkest valley, you keep moving; you’re going through it. Sometimes, it may feel like you’re only going an inch at a time, hour by hour, or day by day, but God is not looking for perfection; he is looking for progression.

Can I encourage you to keep persevering even if you have to crawl, even if it hurts, even if it’s hard, and nobody understands what you’re going through? You see, if you don’t quit in that deep, dark place, that dark valley will become the place of your greatest testimony. That place where you were broken will be the place, like labor pains, birthing that ministry that God will use to bring deliverance and healing to others.

Someone needs to know that wherever you are, no matter how dark it seems, no matter how broken you have been, the Lord is with you. In other words, he is with you when you didn’t get what you wanted, when they turned you down, when you were rejected, and you don’t even know how you can get from there to here, but he is still with you.

Let’s look at Psalm 23 again. "Though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil," everybody say the next part with me, "for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (Psalms 23:4, NIV).

That is the key to walking through the darkest valley. David said, "You are with me." I want you to memorize that, you need that etched upon your heart, because that failure, that rejection, that betrayal wasn’t meant to break you, it was allowed so that you would move through it. And you can because the Lord is with you, his rod and his staff will comfort you.

Some of you have gone through some stuff that left you wondering why, but the truth is that "it" was the only thing that would make you move. You couldn’t see it then, but sometimes God allows things to happen in your life to make you move. In other words, to get to the purpose God has for us, sometimes he allows us to get uncomfortable, and things have to get heated. They had to stomp out; they had to leave; they had to slam the door behind them; you had to get denied for that because if you had got what you wanted, you would have followed them, but God had something better.

Sometimes, there is conflict, there is separation, and God allowed that so he could give you a vision of something better. Everybody say, "It had to happen." It had to happen, not to hurt you, it wasn’t meant to break you, but sometimes it is God’s vehicle that he uses to move you forward.

That relationship, that disaster, that shipwreck that left you brokenhearted because things didn’t work out; look for God’s favor on the other side. Don’t get stuck in a valley of discouragement, feeling broken, mad, or frustrated by what happened, who left, or what didn’t work out. God is with you; keep moving through it so that you don’t miss what he has waiting for you on the other side.

At your lowest moment, when you failed, when they failed, in the breakup, the divorce, in the pain of it all, God is with you. The Bible says,

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).

And yet, many of us would rather be in a good situation without God than in a bad situation with him. In other words, most of us would rather be comfortable, but God often uses discomfort to lead us to our purpose.

I am reminded of Jonah, I read a lot about Jonah’s discomfort caused by his struggles with God. The book of Jonah begins, saying,

"The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 'Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me" (Jonah 1:1-2, NIV).

But Jonah didn’t like the Ninevites, he didn’t want to obey God’s command, and instead he took a ship to Tarshish. His disobedience led to a series of events including being swallowed by a giant fish. The Bible says,

"From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God" (Jonah 2:1, NIV).

In other words, in response to his uncomfortable situation, Jonah prayed to the Lord and surrendered to the will of God. The Bible says in verse 10,

"And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land" (Jonah 2:10, NIV).

From there Jonah went to Nineveh and preached to the people as God had originally told him.

Whether it is a storm, a fish, the hot sun, or a shade tree, Jonah teaches us a lot about discomfort. The book of Jonah has always resonated with me because, at the age of 14, God called me to be a pastor, but I ran the other way. And so, Jonah's story is my story because I never planned to be a pastor, it was the farthest thing from my mind, but God had a different plan. He said,

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9, NIV).

To those of you who are single, I want to encourage you to stop looking for someone to complete you and be faithful in the season you are in. Those of you that are married, or maybe looking for a way out, be faithful in the season that you are in.

In everything you do, whether you are changing diapers, welding, fixing cars, mopping floors, or doing data entry, do it all with excellence because while others may not recognize you, God is watching how you faithfully serve in this season. In other words, what you do when nobody else is looking is more important now than ever. Wherever you are right now, it may feel like the lowest point of your life, it may feel frustrating, but stop thinking about what it should’ve been and be intentional in the moment.

The Scriptures say that:

"Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21, NIV).

And so, while we may have our own plans and desires, ultimately, it is God’s purpose that will prevail. This verse encourages us to place our trust in God’s sovereignty and wisdom even when things don’t happen according to our expectations. In our daily lives, it serves as a gentle reminder to remain flexible and open to God’s guidance knowing that his plans are perfect and he is working out everything for our ultimate good.

Today, by trusting his purpose, and embracing his direction, we can find peace and assurance in the midst of life’s uncertainties. Therefore, we want to,

"Fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2, NIV).

In other words, trusting that Jesus is the initiator, the author, the architect, and the finisher of our faith. He has gone before us and provided us with a model of trust in God. And so, even though your journey may be tough, you can still fulfill God’s purpose for your life as you fix your eyes on Jesus because he said,

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" (Revelation 22:13, NIV).

Even now, he is still writing your story; he is filling in the blanks, he knows where you began, and he knows where you will end.

If this message resonates with you, I want to encourage you to persevere, to keep moving forward, and to keep going through that valley, whether it is in your relationships, business, or family. Don’t lose hope in the midst of your trials but remember that God is with you in every situation, guiding you and supporting you.

In the mighty name of Jesus, we have been called and empowered to live victorious lives of faith. In other words, we are called to press on, persevering, fighting the good fight of faith, not by sight, but by faith. And so, when the going gets tough, just remember, in this world, you will have troubles, but you have Jesus. And he said,

"Take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

I want to pray with you, and so if you are comfortable, lift your hands right now, and I am going to pray that you remember God is with you in the Valley, strengthening and sustaining you through every challenge because it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Read past sermons by Pastor John Talcott